I found the chief of police with a copy of the city ordinance
trying to draw some sort of a complaint that would fit the
extraordinary case, for the charge was not the usual one, that the
machine was going at an unlawful speed, but that a lawyer had been
frightened; to find the punishment that would fit that crime was
no easy task.
The ordinance is liberal,--ten miles an hour; and the young man
and his mentor had not said the speed of the automobile was
greater than the law allowed, hence the dilemma of the chief; but
we discussed a clause which provided that vehicles should not be
driven through the streets in a manner so as to endanger public
travel, and he thought the complaint would rest on that provision.
However lacking the bar of Pittsfield may be in the amenities of
life, the bench is courtesy itself. There was no court until next
day; but calling at the judge's very delightful home, which
happens to be on one of the interesting old streets of the town,
he said he would come down and hear the matter at two o'clock, so
I could get away that afternoon.
The first and wisest impulse of the automobilist is to pay
whatever fine is imposed and go on, but frightening a lawyer is
not an every-day occurrence. I once frightened a pair of army
mules; but a lawyer,--the experience was too novel to let pass
lightly. The game promised to be worth the candle.
The scene shifts to a dingy little room in the basement of the
court-house; present, Straw Hat and Sandy Beard, with populace.
To corroborate--wise precaution on the part of a lawyer in his own
court--their story, they bring along a volunteer witness in
over-alls,--the three making a trio hard to beat.
Straw Hat takes the stand and testifies he is an unusually timid
man, and was most frightened to death.
Sandy Beard's testimony is both graphic and corroborative.
The witness in over-alls, with some embellishments of his own,
supports Sandy Beard.
The row of bricks is complete.
The court removes a prop by remarking that the ordinance speed has
not been exceeded.
The bricks totter.
Whereupon, Sandy Beard now takes the matter into his own hands,
and, ignoring the professional acquirements of his principal,
addresses the court and urges the imposition of a fine,--a fine
being the only satisfaction, and source of immediate revenue,
conceivable to Sandy Beard.
Meanwhile Straw Hat is silent; the witness in over-alls is
Here's a piece of wisdom on driving or cute car quote to study:
The greater part of my official time is spent on investigating collisions between propelled vehicles, each on its own side of the road, each sounding its horn, and each stationary. ~An English Lord Chief Justice, quoted in 2,715 One-Line Quotations for Speakers, Writers & Raconteurs by Edward F. Murphy
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